


Grief

by edxwin_elric



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, One Shot, POV First Person, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Sad, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 06:30:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13676175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edxwin_elric/pseuds/edxwin_elric
Summary: Set the night Ed, Al, and Winry return to Central to find Lt. Hughes is dead.





	Grief

**_Winry_ **

Mr. Hughes is dead.

My stupid pillow is soaked with tears. I didn’t know him that well, honestly. But…I really liked the him I did know. And I do miss him. He was a kind, sweet, good man. Wonderful father. Great husband. My dad was like that. I think. And after I lost him…Mr. Hughes was…almost like…

And Ed and Al. They were his friends. They… I know they feel responsible, which only makes it worse. Plus, since they’re such boys, they can’t figure out how to be sad properly about things, so…I do it.

Not to mention Ms. Gracia and Elicia. I’ve never…never seen such pure grief before. Even behind her smile, Ms. Gracia couldn’t hide that pain. And the way Elicia hugged me outside the door… I’ve never felt so incredibly helpless.

I mean, when Al carried a bleeding, dying, soaked-to-the-bone Edward to our door that…awful night, at least I felt useful—getting things for Granny and working with her on the automail after.

This… I can’t make sense of this.

A knock on my door pulls me out of my head.

“Winry? You in there?”

Ed. I’d better see what he wants. Rubbing a hand over my puffy, red eyes, I pad over to the door and pull it open.

“You haven’t eaten yet have you?” His voice is hesitant, like…like that’s not really what he wants to say, but… Well, what else is there to say?

I can’t… I can’t even lift my eyes to look at him. The lump in my throat is too large to talk around. Like it’s suffocating me.

“You might want to hurry. The…the dining room is closing soon.”

“Mmm.” I nod slightly. Even that feels exhausting.

“You know you have to eat. To keep up your strength.

“Mm-hmm.” I repeat the motion.

“Okay. I’ll go back to my room.”

He starts to walk off, when my hand reaches out and grabs his—my fingers closing around the automail without me telling them to. He turns back instantly. I finally look up at him only to find a hint of surprise on his face. I guess I seem pretty uninterested in socialization. That said, I…don’t want to be alone now.

I still don’t feel like talking much, so without words, I gently pull him into my room. He sits down on the couch across from me, and I turn my attention to the apples I bought at the market. With a weakness in my voice I detest, but can’t fix, I tell him about my wishful plan for the fruit.

“Apple pie?” he asks quietly.

“That’s right. I practiced making it a few times. I know it might…sound like bragging, but I’m pretty good at it. Not nearly as good as Ms. Gracia, but someday…I hoped…” I suck in a breath and ignore the tears streaming down my face. “…that Mr. Hughes would get to try some t-too.”

I dissolve into sobs. Again. I can’t stop them. It’s just…so _sad_. I’m so sad. And Ed…

For a long minute, he’s quiet. He’s not the best with girls—especially crying ones. Unless it’s just me, but…still.

I’m startled when I feel his weight depress the couch seat next to me. I look up at him through wet eyelashes, and hiccup softly as his hand slides across my cheek, wiping at the wet there, curing around the nape of my neck.

“I… I…” I choke on the well of unshed tears building fresh in my throat, and he pulls me into him.

I bury my face in his neck, reaching around him to hold on as tight as I can. Like…if I let go, I might just dissolve into my pain. My pain for me. For him. For Al. For Ms. Gracia. Elicia. I…

“You… You should get some sleep,” he murmurs into my ear, his automail arm going around my back, hugging me closer.

“I… I can’t,” I confess pitifully. “I…”

I can’t be alone. It’s too heavy, this…sorrow.

“Dammit, Winry,” he swears so softly I almost miss it. “Come on.”

I don’t have the chance to protest. Not that I would. He’s trying to fix this. Take care of me. I need that right now.

He lifts me up, sliding one arm under my knees, and tucks me against his chest. My tears have dried up, I think. But my heart won’t stop weeping.

“Here we go.” Ed sets me down next to the bed, and I fight back a whimper when his body heat leaves mine.

He turns the lamp on and reaches down to turn back the sheets, which are already mussed up and wrinkled from the time I’ve spent trying to cry myself to sleep earlier tonight.

“Winry, I–”

“Don’t go.” The sound of my voice surprises me. I didn’t mean to speak. I was going to let him…leave.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he answers without hesitation. “I…I was wondering if you had an extra pillow. I can take the floor.”

My body starts trembling, and I shake my head.

“No,” I bite out.

“What?” His forehead wrinkles.

“Ed…” I force out brokenly, “will you…hold me?”

His eyes get wide for a split-second before he nods.

“Sure, Winry. Anything you need.”

I sit down on the edge of the bed and slip under the covers while he strips off his unwanted clothes. Under normal circumstances, I would probably watch, but…nothing about this is normal.

I watch out of the corner of my eye as he skirts the foot of the bed and comes to stand on the far side, facing me. He’s looking at me with so much tenderness. Like I’m a wounded deer.

“Where do you want me?” he asks in a low voice.

“Here,” I breathe, reaching out.

Once he’s under the sheets with me, we don’t talk. Our bodies just sort of…know. I tuck myself into his chest, curling my arms around his back, adjusting my legs so they’re cradling his automail one. His real arm eases under my head, so that his bicep acts as a pillow. The other arm curves around my waist and back, holding me close.

Holding me together.

In the darkness, his breathing is steady, and his scent is familiar. Calming.

Home.

Edward is home. I’m safe here.

With that in mind, I finally sink into the dark.


End file.
